I have horrible eyesight. I'm probably legally blind without my glasses, it's really pretty awful. I started wearing glasses when I was eight and distinctly remember noticing the detail of the leaves on trees and the islands just off the coast of Santa Barbara where I grew up immediately upon donning my dreaded new specs. Everything was so clear, so vivid and so beautiful! How could I have been missing all of this for so long? My parents felt awful but I tried to fool them and everybody else into believing I could see just fine so it's really not their fault I couldn't see worth squat. The fact of the matter is, I didn't want glasses. I probably needed them about a year before I finally got my eyes examined but was afraid I'd be teased so I settled for squinting, sitting close to the TV, holding books closer to my nose, and selecting a seat in class as close to the blackboard as I could. The jig was up when I kept having to ask the teacher if I could walk up to the board in order to see it better - she did her job and told my parents during a parent/teacher conference that she suspected I needed glasses. I did, and I've worn them ever since. I've worn contacts just twice in my life: once for my Senior prom in high school and once more for our wedding in 2006. My eyesight is so poor, contacts don't fully correct my vision. With contacts, everything is elongated and stretched, so I choose to wear glasses...which suits me just fine because as it turns out, I have an eye phobia, ie, I can't touch my eyeball. I've actually passed out more than once attempting to put contacts in. Ha! So glasses it is.
Truth be told, I've come to really like the way I look in glasses, and I've worn them for so long (nearly 3/4 of my life) that people almost don't recognize me when I don't have them on. Heck, I almost don't recognize myself! My glasses are part of my persona and I'm used to them now but as I age, my sight will continue to deteriorate and that's an unfortunate reality that really saddens me. My grandmother has macular degeneration so bad that she hasn't been able to drive for over 20 years and needs almost monthly shots in the eye. Ummm, yea, it's a terrible prospect. *shudder* Have you ever played that game, "Would You Rather...?" Well, if I were asked if I'd rather go blind or deaf, without hesitation I'd choose deaf. Jason says he'd choose going blind which I suppose I can understand given his profession but I simply cannot imagine not being able to see. I've already experienced not being able to see very well and it's not fun. It's disorienting and scary, because should something happen to your glasses or contact lenses (as the case may be) you're out of luck and completely dependent upon someone else or another mode of transportation. I can't imagine losing the gift of sight, becoming completely devoid of the ability to appreciate the beauty of the world around me.
I love taking pictures and I've come to realize that I love taking pictures in large part because it captures the moment that you are currently appreciating in a way that allows you to appreciate it long after the moment has passed. A beautiful sunset is no longer just a fleeting experience but a snapshot that can be remembered and cherished long in to the future. I don't think we realize how lucky we are to be able to see. We rely on our eyesight in every aspect of our lives. Think about how much you take in and see with each passing day. From the moment you hit the ground running in the morning until your head hits your pillow at night, your eyes guide you through your day. What if that were all taken away?
Every once in awhile, I'm reminded of the wonder of sight. Yesterday was one of those days. I set out for the library on my lunch break (as I often do) but changed from my regular glasses into my prescription sunglasses because it was bright and sunny and gorgeous out. Thing is, I left my regular glasses on my desk. Rookie move. So I get to the library and I go inside, leaving my sunglasses on until I make my way down the stairs. Then I have to take them off. I suppose I didn't HAVE to take them off but social norms dictate that I do, so I did. Thankfully, I know my way around the library quite well so I headed to the DVD section to check out their new releases. I couldn't read the titles so I had to step right up to the rack and just about press my nose against the covers to see what they were. Embarrassing. I gave up and headed up stairs (quite carefully, my depth perception isn't great without my glasses) and made my way to the mystery section. Face pressed against the book spines, I painstakingly searched for the book I had in mind. Thankfully, I found it rather quickly and proceeded to the check out. I couldn't see the computer screen but I knew I needed to scan my card. I must have been squinting pretty obviously because a woman came up to me to ask if I needed help (I presume it was a woman, as I couldn't see her face -- yes, it's that bad -- but I could see the outline of her head and her voice was high pitched so I figured it was a female). I succeeded in checking out my book and got outside, ever thankful to be able to put my sunglasses back on. It was just 10 minutes of my life, but it was so disconcerting to not be able to see people's faces and not be certain of my surroundings. I couldn't see detail until I was inches away. My eyesight is such a gift!
So I need glasses. So what? I may have not wanted to get them initially, but these specs of mine allow me to take in, appreciate and enjoy my life and I am so thankful for that. Plus, I look pretty spiffy in them, if I do say so myself. ;)Can't ask for any more than that!
2 comments:
I have experienced the same sort of thing with my glasses. When I lived abroad, I would sometimes spend much of the morning in my flat without my glasses on because the place was tiny and everything would be fairly recognizable. But on several occassions, I left to walk to the market without my glasses and would realize half way there that I had forgotten them. I felt very silly, carefully walking into the big, bright store, slowly going up and down each aisle (because I couldn't remember which aisle had bread, which had cheese, which had meat, etc.), squinting and getting very close to the displays so I could read labels and expiration dates. And then I would slowly fumble home, laden with shopping bags and hoping my poor depth perception wouldn't cause me to fall off the curb, step into a hole, or crowd another pedestrian off the pavement.
I could never walk out of our house without either my regular glasses or sunglasses on - I either have my glasses or my prescription sunglasses on at all times unless I'm in the shower, sleeping or swimming -- or apparently randomly stumbling around the library lol I can find my way around our house without them just fine but it's disorienting because of my depth perception issues and how blurry everything is. I'm so impressed you were able to find your way to the markets! And that you'd be nearly there before realizing you couldn't see clearly! I couldn't get further than our sidewalk haha It's just the pits not being able to see, isn't it?!
Post a Comment