Today is the end of day two at work. I have successfully returned to the working world, and am attempting to get used to the daily grind once again. These last two mornings, I have gotten up at 8am, eaten breakfast, and then showered and dressed, making it in to the office at 9:45am on Monday (slow start) and 9:15am today (a bit better). I worked 6.5 hours yesterday and 7 hours today, which is much better than I had originally anticipated.
Overall, things have been ok, people have been nice and are happy that I am back, but I know this week is kind of the transition week and thus next week will be the true test - will people remember I'm still recovering from heart surgery and need to continue to take things slow? We'll see. I'm definitely feeling the effects of working a full day, though. My heart is handling it ok but I'm tired. I can feel when I need to pack it up for the day and head home. My body just sends me this message that I hear in my head, like "ok, that's it" and then I go home. So far, it's seems to be working out. I've been able to control the stress level and juggle my work load, but it's only day two. We'll see how I am at the end of the week.
I had a full blown panic attack on Sunday night before bed that I totally (honestly) didn't see coming. I thought I was handling it, thought I was managing the idea of returning to work and then WHAM, panic attack, complete with sobbing, shaking, hyperventilating, major heart palpitations and irregular beats, the works. Thankfully, I was prescribed ativan for such occasions (as open heart surgery patients experience these episodes from time to time) and at about 1am finally calmed down and drifted off to sleep. Last night went much better. It's all a transition right now. I have to keep moving forward, one step, one day, at a time.
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