Development Director for Go Red for Women Campaign

I just applied for an amazingly awesome career opportunity and I am terrified, to the point of shaking, crying and nausea. There is an opening at the Inland Empire branch of the American Heart Association for their Development Director for the Go Red for Women fundraising luncheon, and I just applied for it. Holy cow, what have I done? On one hand, I am so uniquely qualified for obvious reasons but on the other hand I have no fundraising experience so even if they are intrigued enough to give me an interview based solely on my personal experience with heart disease in women and managerial background, I don't have the first clue on how to go about actually fundraising for this event I would be in charge of. But on the other hand, why get so emotional about something that is probably never even going to get any further than the application process, but on the other hand, maybe it's my calling to be a part of this campaign. And yes, I am aware that given this synopsis of thought I am saying I have 4 hands.

And I know that I said I wouldn't apply for something this involved, something that was so much work because of where I am with my recovery but I felt compelled to apply. I couldn't NOT apply. One moment I'm watching Too Fat for Fifteen on TV, which led me begin thinking about how I could reach out to people in need given my recent experiences, which led me to the American Heart Association website and their career opportunities. And then I spent the next 2 hours on their application. 2 hours. And now I'm shaking in terror.

Could I have actually found my direction in life, my purpose? Even if I don't get this particular position, maybe it will open doors to something else along similar lines. I am empowered by just having completed the application. And maybe that is enough, for now.