14 Questions Before 2014

1. What are my top 5 best memories from 2013?
Surprise birthday trip to Chicago in February, Jason's doctoral recital, Congenital Heart Walk in Indianapolis, trip home this past summer, and spending Christmas with my mom this year. A few bonus memories: setting new life goals for the coming year with Jason in the car this past weekend on our way to and from Chicago, being gifted my new camera and giving Jason his Kobe portrait for our 7th wedding anniversary, and my job becoming permanent in March (complete with a benefits package!). As with every year, there were some downs mixed in there for good measure but all in all, it's been a pretty solid 12 months.

2. What did I learn about love this year?
It truly does endure, and it grows and flourishes if we water and feed it. In my humble opinion, love is the most powerful, most important thing in this life. Without it, we are lost.

3. What did I learn about life this year?
I'm continuing to delve in to lessons I was first given a few short years ago... I'm learning that although life can be tough, and although it can frustrate and discourage, life is such a blessing. Each day we can open our eyes and experience all that the day in front of us has to offer is a good day, and that even though we may experience hardship, to experience is to live, and we learn and grow from mistakes and bad days, perhaps more so than from the triumphs/successes of good days. I'm learning to never take what I've been given for granted because life is short, and it can change on a dime. I'm learning that sometimes, good things enter in to your life disguised as challenges but goodness and clarity can prevail if you learn to look for the lesson and light therein.

4. What did I learn about myself this year? Who Am I Becoming?
I am becoming a 30 year old in less than two months! haha No, but seriously. I am continuously learning to accept the things I cannot change, and recognize and act upon the things I can. I feel that I've grown into myself in the last year. I've proven myself wrong in a few instances and it's been empowering. I am stronger than I was a few years ago and for that, I am so very thankful.

5. What matters most to me in my life?
Family (including our fur babies) and friends, always. Love. Hope. Faith. Memories. Trust. Support. Laughter. The little things because those little things add up and become big things in the end.

6. Who matters most to me in my life right now? (And am I spending enough time with them?)
Again, family and friends. And, hey, me: I matter. I'm important. I wish I could say I've always felt that way, but during especially challenging times, I lost sight of that and turned on myself a little bit. I was too critical, and certainly not loving enough, not forgiving enough. But that needs to change, and it is.

I wish I could see family and friends who live far away more often, but we do what we can to make trips home and always make family and friend time a top priority.

7. What am I most proud of this year?
Keeping my emotions in check, and how my thinking has changed. I've really worked hard to adopt a more positive "silver lining" outlook and attitude, and while there are things about my life that I wish I could alter or change, when it comes right down to it, I know I am blessed and I really attempt to find the good in every day...and no, it's not always easy. Do I allow myself time to be upset if a situation warrants that emotion? Absolutely, but wallowing has not been permitted this year and I believe I am a better me as a result.

8. How will I bring more joy to my life in 2014?
Plan and schedule in fun things throughout the year, things that we look forward to and continue to bring us closer to one another. Stress less, worry less, don't allow fear to stop me from trying new things or taking chances.

9. What is my vision for my life?
When it is meant to be, a little family of our own. Peace. Adventures. Health. Passion. Gratitude and giving. A life that I can look back on at the end of my days and think, "You know, I did good," both meanings of the word: I did well and was happy, and I did good things for others.

10. What am I grateful for?
Oh my, this could be a very long list indeed... For the sake of time and space: Big things like Jason, family, friends, my health, my job, etc but also little things, like tea, the freedom I feel when driving with the windows down on a warm day with my music blasting and a cool breeze pushing strands of hair across my cheeks, pictures/cameras, color, beautiful scenery, candles, books, a smile on a difficult day, hugs, a call from a friend, a card in the mail, music (which would definitely be on my husband's list of big things...Ha!), quiet moments of reflection, the smell of fresh laundry, warm showers on cold days, kitchen smells, watching a movie all snuggled up with Jason on the couch, unexpected laughter, feelings of inner tranquility and of peace, good and not so good memories because although the tough stuff is hard to look back on it reminds me to be thankful for how far I've come and puts my life in to perspective.

11. What needs to change in my life?
I need to continue to work on self-criticism and really embrace who I am, quirks, baggage, shortcomings and all. I also need to learn to care less about what others think of me. I am who I am and if someone doesn't like me, their opinion doesn't define me. I cannot control what other people think, say or do, and the sooner I embrace that fact, the better. I also need to put the brakes on being such a people pleaser and stop seeking approval from others. If I fall short of their or my own preset expectations or preconceived notion of what it is I'm supposed to do or what's expected of me, I feel so badly and I don't need that negativity in my life. I can only do the best that I can and if I'm doing that, then there is no need to worry...and, on that same note, I need to worry less and be more present in the now, because time goes by so fast. Almost seems like if you blink, you'll miss it and I don't want to.

12. What is my theme for 2014?
Hope. Positivity. Growth. "You can't live a positive life with a negative mind." And yes, I did just quote Miley Cyrus. Who've ever thought?

13. When do I feel the most alive, the most like ME?
I know it's probably cliche, but I don't care: I feel the most "me" when I'm with Jason and my family, and with my closest friends, because I know they love me for me and I don't have to change a thing, ever, and because when I'm with those people, we have the most fun and we laugh so hard we cry and it's invigorating to be with people who fan your flames, who make you feel perfect and loved just as you are. Also, when I'm behind a camera lens, or being creative in some other way, be it in the kitchen or doing some DIY project, or simply walking outside on a warm, sunny day with my favorite tunes playing in my ears. Serenity. Ahhh.

14. What books do I want to read in 2014? What movies do I want to see?
Since I read about a book a week on average, reading is most definitely an important part of any year for me. I'll probably take a peek at this list: http://www.goodreads.com/choiceawards/best-fiction-books-2013
Movies: Gravity, Her, 12 Years a Slave, Maleficent, Heaven is For Real, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Fault in Our Stars, The Giver, Gone Girl, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1, The Hobbit: There and Back Again.

And so, tomorrow we say hello to a whole new year. Next year will usher in a whole new decade for me so I am feeling a sense of eagerness and hope that I haven't felt in quite awhile and I have to admit that it's exciting. May 2014 bring you all beautiful days and beautiful memories, satisfaction and success, joy and laughter, new adventures and opportunities for growth, and if you encounter hardship, may you find peace and may light and goodness prevail. You are loved, you are important, and I hope you know it. Happy New Year!!