Let It Snow

We got 10 inches of snow on Friday and it is so beautiful here! Despite the fact that snow makes our lives much more difficult (shoveling, scraping, driving with the utmost caution which sometimes means traveling at no more than 20 mph on the highway, wearing extra layers of clothing, allowing extra time to get to and from your destination, the fun of taking Kobe out in single digit temperatures, etc) I love how the landscape transforms and takes on a whole new feel. Snow enhances the festive spirit of the season and makes Christmas seem...well, more Christmas-y :)  It is probably one of my favorite things about living here.

Autumn Leaves

I love Fall. I love the way the air feels, and all of the bright, rich magnificent colors. I love the delightful wardrobe options (hello scarves, boots, sweaters, jackets and beanies!) and the general ambiance of the season. And, of course, I love that after Fall comes my true love, Christmas. In fact, I love autumn so much that if we were blessed with a little girl someday, and our last name wasn't Nam, I'd actually love to name her Autumn...but come on, Autumn Nam? Say it out loud once and you'll never want to say it again.

But the leaves are my absolute favorite. They are glorious, especially here in the Midwest. I am amazed daily at the wonder of the beauty around me. Sometimes, I just have to stop and stare, openly flabbergasted. I'm pretty sure my mouth has dropped once or twice in appreciation and wonder. I hope you enjoy the scenery as much as I do :)

Four Years -- Surviving and Thriving

Four years ago, at approximately 7:00 am CA time, I was being prepped for surgery in an OR at the Ronald Regan UCLA Medical Center. I had been there since 4:45 am. The fact that I had managed to sleep at all the night before was a kind of miracle. I was remarkably calm. I wasn’t shaking anymore and although I certainly felt the icy grip of fear, I was more or less resigned to what was about to take place. "Are you ready?" {Was I? I suppose I was.} “Count back from 10” – I only got to 8.

I felt so heavy. I remember my eyes suddenly being open, a smiling face leaning in close to mine. I was too out of it to be startled. “Hi, Melissa, it’s Mary. Guess what, sweetheart, you woke up!” Mary was my head surgical nurse and she knew those words were what I needed to hear before I lost consciousness again, which I presume is what happened next, as I don't remember much else about that day. But I know in that moment relief flooded over me as intensely and as completely as the brightness of those OR lights. The most crucial hurdle had been jumped, and my worst fear averted: my open heart surgery was over and I had woken up.

*********

I believe I'll always celebrate this day. It has become a marking of a kind of rebirth for me. I was given a second chance. Had I not received the care I did, when I did, I wouldn't be here, plain and simple. Without a doubt, October 29th, 2009 was a day that left me forever changed. Who I am now is not who I was then. And remarkably, I can honestly say I have come to enjoy the person I am today more. She's more confident, she has more faith, she believes in her own inner strength and resolve, and she has a greater appreciation for LIFE and for each day that she gets to open her eyes and start/try again. This version of me sees beauty in the mundane, in the small and seemingly trivial. She knows to cherish the moments she spends with family and friends because tomorrow isn't always a guarantee. She knows to encourage people's hopes and dreams as well as her own for the same reason. Although the journey was, for the most part, a very steep, uphill battle, it now seems worth it. The experience brought me to  - and through - an awakening. I know that I'm a fighter, I know that I can survive under dire circumstances and I will NOT give up on myself, ever. I am worth the fight and time it took. My scars tell a story, and I have accepted them for what they are - beautifully unique to me because they tell the story of a young woman who was stronger than what could have taken her life. I am tough as nails and mighty proud of it.

Life is such a gift. That might sound like a cliche, but it's so true. And I am beyond blessed to be living it. The support given and shown to my parents, Jason and myself during that time was incredible. From the bottom of my mended heart, I want to thank you all for lifting us up when we needed it most. I assure you, it made all the difference. Four years. Happy surgiversary to me :)

Homemade Apple Pie

Jason brought home a giant bag of apples left over from the football game on Saturday. We're talking close to a bushel. He walks in with it at 1am Sunday morning and I asked him what we were going to do with all those apples and he says, quite sweetly, "I thought maybe you could make an apple pie..." Or twenty lol But yes, apple pie sounded perfect, and since yesterday was the first day of autumn, it was quite the appropriate way to kick off the beginning of my favorite season.

Now, I love to bake. And I've made many a pie. But oddly enough, I've only made apple pie once before with my Aunt Connie when I was in college. I remember it being fairly simple to construct, but the trick was to find a recipe that has a lot of flavor because apples that are good to cook with are fairly bland. I scanned through a few recipes online, and after confirming that the base ingredients were all pretty similar, I decided to go with this one from Smitten Kitchen. I've made a few of her things before and they've always been delicious and full of flavor. Thanks to the review she did on her own pie recipe, I made a few changes to kick up the spice factor, and am I ever glad I did! This pie was GOOD. Like seriously good. Also, I normally make my own crust. I have this awesome recipe that always gets rave reviews from family and friends, but I ended up getting a late start so I went with store bought. We picked Marie Callender's crusts because I always loved their pies growing up and I thought they'd be a safe bet. Thankfully, I was right -- this is definitely going to be my go-to-in-a-pinch crust when I don't have the time or energy to make my own. Win! You can use whatever pie crust you prefer, bought or made from scratch. Smitten Kitchen's original recipe called for using a lattice top pie crust but she later recanted that decision, after discovering that the pie collapsed in on itself a bit after the apples cooked down, taking the lattice top with it. Again, thanks to her review, I went with a traditional pie top and mine baked beautifully. Okay, let's get to it!

Homemade Apple Pie
Adapted from a recipe by Smitten Kitchen

Pie top - if using frozen store-bought (you'll need two pie crusts total)
--Invert one of the pie crusts onto a piece of wax paper. Let thaw for 20 minutes, or until pliable. Put the other crust (the bottom) in the fridge.
Pie top - if using a "from scratch" recipe
--Prepare as indicated in the recipe you are using, taking care to use a recipe that makes enough for top and bottom crusts, and place top crust on fruit when filling is added to the pie bottom. 

Fruit mixture

3 1/2 pounds apples (braeburn, honeycrisp, pink lady, golden delicious, granny smith - works out to about 8 medium sized apples), peeled, cored and sliced (about 12 slices per apple)
1 tablespoon fresh squeezed lemon juice
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1 lightly beaten egg white (optional)
1 tbsp white sugar

1.) Adjust oven rack to lowest position and heat rimmed baking sheet and oven to 500°F.
2.) If using homemade dough (should be divided in to two sections, for top and bottom) - Roll one section of dough on lightly floured work surface or between two large sheets of plastic wrap to 12-inch disk. Transfer dough to pie plate by rolling dough around rolling pin and unrolling over 9 1/2-inch pie plate or by folding dough in quarters, then placing dough point in center of pie plate and unfolding. Working around circumference of pie plate, ease dough into pan corners by gently lifting dough edges with one hand while pressing around pan bottom with other hand. Leave dough that overhangs lip of plate in place; refrigerate dough-lined pie plate.
3.) In a large bowl, toss apples slices with lemon juice. In a medium bowl, mix sugar, flour, salt and spices. Toss dry ingredients with apples. Turn fruit mixture, including resulting juices, into chilled pie shell and mound slightly in center.
4.) If using store bought crust - inverted pie crust should be thawed and pliable. Carefully remove from wax paper and place over fruit mixture. Seal edges by gently pinching the two crust edges together with your fingers. Cut an 'X' in the center and make 4 smaller cuts around the surface of the top crust. Lightly brush top crust with egg white and sprinkle with tablespoon of sugar.

If using homemade crust - Roll out second section of dough to 12-inch disk and place over filling. Trim top and bottom edges to 1/2-inch beyond pan lip. Tuck this rim of dough underneath itself so that folded edge is flush with pan lip. Pinch edging together with fingers or press with fork tines to seal. Cut four slits on dough top. {If pie dough is very soft, place in freezer for 10 minutes.} Lightly brush top crust with egg white and sprinkle with tablespoon of sugar.
5.) Place pie on baking sheet and lower oven temperature to 425°F. Bake until top crust is golden, about 25 minutes. Rotate pie and reduce oven temperature to 375°F; continue baking until juices bubble and crust is deep golden brown, 30-35 minutes longer. **If you notice that the top is getting too brown too fast, cover with a layer of tin foil**
6.) Transfer pie to wire rack; cool to room temperature, or at least 1-2 hours. Serve just as is, or a la mode (or favorite way to enjoy apple pie!).

Sauteed Kale with Sausage and White Beans

It's been a long while since I posted a recipe so I thought it was time. I will try to post a recipe every other week, staggered between my written blog posts.

Sautéed Kale with Sausage & White Beans over Barley  
  Serves 4 {adapted from An Edible Mosaic}















3 tablespoons olive oil
3/4 lb fully cooked chicken sausage (about 4-5 links), thinly sliced {I used a Gouda and garlic chicken sausage this time}
1 large sweet onion, halved and thinly sliced
1 lb kale, rinsed, tough center ribs removed, and chopped
1 cup low-sodium chicken stock (or water), plus more as needed
5 large cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (more or less to taste)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 (15 oz) can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
shaved or finely shredded Parmesan cheese (optional)
1 cup Pearled barley (you can find in bulk food sections of health food stores, or use rice)

Rinse the pearled barley in a strainer. Place barley in a medium sized pot and cover with 3 cups of water. Add a dash of salt, cover and bring water to a boil. Once boiling, reduce heat to low and simmer approximately 30-45 min. Keep an eye on it to make sure pot doesn't boil over or burn once the liquid drastically reduces.

Meanwhile, heat oil in a large lidded skillet (I like to use a non-stick wok) over medium-high heat; add the sausage and cook until browned on both sides, about 5 to 7 minutes.  Use a slotted spoon to transfer the sausage to a bowl and set aside.

Turn heat down to medium, add onion, and cook until tender and starting to caramelize, about 7 to 10 minutes.  Turn the heat back up to medium-high, add the kale and chicken stock, cover the skillet, and cook until the liquid is evaporated and the kale is almost tender, about 8 minutes.  (If the skillet gets too dry before the kale is almost tender, add a bit more liquid as needed.)

Stir in the garlic, crushed red pepper flakes, salt, and pepper, and cook 3 minutes. Add the beans and browned sausage and cook until heated, about 1 to 2 minutes.  Spritz with lemon juice and turn off heat. Top with Parmesan cheese, if using {and I recommend you do, it's tasty!}. Serve over barley or rice.

Autumn on my mind

This week's assignment involved going on to Etsy.com and looking for a painting that I loved. Once found, I was to describe the scene, describe what my life would be like if I lived in the painting, and why I chose it.

Simply searching 'painting' was too broad so I searched 'autumn painting' but still got far too many hits. 'Autumn cottage painting' narrowed it down to three pages but none of them captured my attention. So in looking over the broader spectrum of autumn themed paintings, I felt myself drawn towards the ones with lots of orange and flaming reds paired with the contrast of dark wooded trees with a frozen lake running through. This comes as no surprise to me, as I love the autumn. I love it's beautiful, saturated palette; bursts of color against the dreary sky. I've always dreamed of visiting Connecticut in the Fall (no real reason other than the image I have of it as the leaves change colors) and maybe someday I'll get my wish. For now, I shall pretend to live in a painting I found on Esty.

I imagine my life would be very similar to how it is now, but with eternal autumnal surroundings. Certainly not a bad arrangement, seeing that it is my favorite season. I wonder if I'd grow tired of it. Do you think? A year-round selection of pumpkins and cool, crisp fall air. Scarves and rainstorms, maybe even the occasional frost or light snow. Autumn is unique because while the temperature across the board is cooler, you can also still look forward to a warm, sunny day now and again. Now here's a thought to ponder: The leaves would flutter down like butterflies on a breeze but how would they grow back without any spring? In this made-up world of year-round Fall, would the leaves reappear overnight, back on the trees just as crisp as when they first began their earth-bound decent?

I can tell you I'd be a happy gardener. I love pumpkins and autumn/winter squashes. Butternut and acorn squash are so delicious and versatile, and let's not forget the multitudes of goodies you can make with pumpkins! Cookies, tarts, quick breads, muffins, cakes, sweet rolls, pull-apart breads, etc. My tummy is rumbling just thinking about it!

I would love to believe that we'd live in a quaint {but not too tiny} cottage with a generous space for the aforementioned garden, complete with maybe a stable for a horse or two. I'd love to have a beautiful view, complete with a river running through it, where I could watch beavers and the like go about their daily tasks. I'd like to believe I'd be stress-free but let's be real! haha The photographer in me would be like a kid in a candy store, I can assure you that. My wardrobe would be in it's happy place: scarves, sweaters, and boots, oh my!

So if you still find yourself wondering why I love autumn so much here's a breakdown: 1) It's an important step towards the most wonderful time of the year (and if I have to tell you what I believe that is, please just humor me and pretend like you know), 2) the feel in the air (I mean, don't you just love it? Fall has a palpable uniqueness to it), 3) it's beautiful. Flat out gorgeous. And 4) baked goods.

Need I say more?

Boy, was my face red

When I got my blog assignment from Cathy for the week, I really had to think about it. For a good while. Off the top of my head, I couldn't recall a single, glaringly embarrassing moment and yet I thought, surely, there must be something! So I asked Jason and without a second's hesitation he says, "Oh it has to be when you plowed over that palm tree in high school."

Oh yes. That.

See what happens when you marry your high school sweetheart? Since they've been there for it all, they can *help* you remember those things you'd much rather conveniently forget.

Let's go back in time, as this story takes place nearly half a lifetime ago. I was either 15 or 16, I can't remember. Either I still had my driving permit or I hadn't had my license for long. My mom and I were headed to the bookstore (one of my favorite places, of course) and I was in the driver's seat. I should tell you I had a fear of parking lots. I still don't like them and the incident that's about to unfold is probably a big reason why. Turning in general was tricky for me, so maneuvering into a small space was even more exasperating. I always felt immense pressure.

So we're in the Barnes and Noble Parking lot. We turn in to the lot and I spot an available space kind of far away from the store but it was also pretty wide open as far as other cars were concerned, and that gave it extra appeal. I approach the spot and begin to make the turn. I straighten out and suddenly my mom exclaims, "Watch out!" and instead of hitting the brakes, I hit the gas. I should also tell you that this parking spot I was attempting to park in was overlooking a major road and there was a grassy hill just below that led down to the sidewalk. Well, we flew over the concrete parking bumper and raced down that grassy little hill, my poor mother screaming, "Melissa, what are you doing? Stop! Stop!" and I'm just flat out screaming bloody murder as we're jostling and bouncing our way down to the sidewalk.

Two things are miraculous: 1) There was not a soul to be found on the sidewalk below. Thank the good Lord because...well, let's just say it wouldn't have been good and this would be a very different kind of story if there had been. And 2) Somehow I had the wherewithal to turn the wheel hard to the right causing us to barrel back up the grassy hill instead of continuing into the busy street and into other unsuspecting drivers.

Enter the palm tree. That poor tree never knew what hit it. And what hit it was our Nissan with two screaming women inside. Thankfully, it was a young tree and bent upon impact otherwise, again, this would be a very different kind of story but that thing was never the same, I'm sure. It stopped us though and was lodged under the front of our car, making it impossible to move. Have you ever seen Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, starring John Candy and Steve Martin? Well if you have, do you remember when John Candy's character, Del, unsticks his hands from the steering wheel after nearly having a wreck with two oncoming semi trucks? That's what it felt like that day for me, too. If I could have bent the wheel, it would have been bent and my fingers would have made indentations. I was crying and shaking hysterically. People were gathering at an alarming rate and we could hear sirens approaching. I didn't really know what had happened but I knew it wasn't good and I knew it could mean I was in trouble.

And I knew I was extremely embarrassed.

Quite honestly, I don't remember much after that. I remember policemen. I remember a crap ton of lookie-loos. I remember wanting to crawl into a hole and stay there until I was old and grey. It was horrible. There were definite tire tracks leading from the parking lot down to the sidewalk and you could see where I turned that emergency abort! abort! right turn which lead us back up the hill and into that poor palm tree.

Thankfully, other than being really shook up and incredibly embarrassed, no harm, no foul. No one was hurt (thank God!!) and neither of us were fined. To this day, I have no idea how the damage was resolved.

Oh, and the reason my mom exclaimed, "Watch out!"? There was a glass bottle in the way of the car. Yes. A glass bottle. *sigh*